"mullet mindset"

Mullets.
They are gross. They should not exist. They were allowed a short life, and then, rightfully, they went out of style. But there are still those people that have them. MANY in my lovely redneck town. My friend Libby and I stay on the look-out for them. Libby and I discussed people that have mullets one day at lunch a few weeks ago. We decided that people that wear mullets like they look awesome have a "mullet mindset." This basically just means that they know they are making a ridiculous decision by keeping the mullet, but they do it anyway.

We also decided that this fits with our lives perfectly when it comes to sin. People can have the "mullet mindset" without actually owning a mullet. - and yes I said own on purpose. They have to own it..you've never seen a person with a mullet that looks completely self-conscious, have you? Anyway...I digress. My point is that we all have weaknesses. Sin that tempts us and tempts us until we give in. We give in knowing that it is TOTALLY a ridiculous decision, but we continue to give in to it. Therefore, we own the "mullet mindset." It kills me that there are people out there that act like they are perfect and don't fall into this trap. Everyone is trapped at some point by their sin. If we weren't, why would we need Jesus to save us?

I had one of these "mullet mindset" moments this week. I just carry on my way continuing in sin knowing that I am being completely ridiculous the entire time. It really is just incredible how stubborn I can be about it. How many times I can justify it until finally giving in to Jesus and shutting my excuses up.

I think it's a beautiful thing that Jesus continues to love me despite my moments like that. Every time I stop and try to take that in, it just overwhelms me. That kind of love is incredible. I can't wrap my tiny little brain around it. But I realized this week (again) that it's not about understanding the love. It's just about accepting it. I love that.

There are some verses in Isaiah that really remind me of this -
Isaiah 44:20-22 - "He is trusting something that can give him no help at all. Yet he cannot bring himself to ask 'Is this thing, this idol that I'm holding in my hand, a lie?' 'Pay attention, O Israel, for you are my servant. I, the Lord, made you, and I will not forget to help you. I have swept away your sins like the morning mists. I have scattered your offenses like the clouds. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.'"

I love this passage. The sins that we constantly bow down to are like idols. We put our trust in them without even realizing that is what we are doing. And it is completely foolish believing in it. But Jesus loves us and calls us back to Him. He longs to redeem us. It doesn't make sense, but whoever said it had to?

The "mullet mindset" thing has become somewhat of a joke with Libby and me now. If she hears me being this way that is all she has to say. and visa versa. I would think it annoying if I didn't need the reminder! :)

making changes

Ok. I am not completely sure what I was thinking when I decided "hey, i'll start a blog!" however, now I'm thinking this can be a good thing.

I'm about to take a semester off from college. My hope is to make some changes. Get out here for a while. Go off by myself. I feel like I have so much to figure out about myself, and in order to do that, I need to get away from everything I've known my entire life. I started that this past summer when I moved to Dallas for 2 and a half months, but August came and ended that much too soon. Now, maybe leaving is not the only way this can be done, but why not take the chance now? I'm young. If I keep saying "I'll do it later" will the time ever come? I don't think so.

I have no idea where God is going to take me or even if the Bolivia thing will work out. I've started filling out my application, and I look at the blog of the director of the orphanage nearly every single day. My heart is pretty much set on going there after all the pictures and posts I've seen about these children and babies in Bolivia. I get so excited every time I see something I could potentially get to be apart of. The kids are SO precious. I want to go to this orphanage! Now to just get my parents on board with it....THAT is a real challenge.

I'm also filling out an application to go through Southern Cross Humanitarian to do a volunteer/internship with them at this orphanage that is in Peru. I've been wanting to go to this particular orphanage for about 2 and a half years now. But that one may have to wait until after I finally graduate college. It is more expensive, and I think I'd want to go for longer than a semester+summer. I don't know. This one seems a bit more intimidating. And while I'd like to say "bring it on!" it scares me to death! Which...might be the point. Hmm..I don't know.

Anyway, this semester is nearly over. Only 4 more days of class and then finals. Thank the Lord. This has been one AWFUL semester. Not even class wise. They weren't that bad (maybe because I didn't go to half of them? haha) It's just been crazy and hectic. So glad that school will be off of my radar soon..if only for a short while.

That's all I've got for the first post. More to come :)